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“Handle so hot I can’t stand it, might shrivel up and blow away, noonday sun make you crazy, least, that’s what the old men say…”

The heat of summer is officially on us, as crayons melt in cars and eggs fry on sidewalks. Yesterday in Dallas, as the heat climbs towards triple digits, I was out running errands with the kids, and they began to complain about the heat. As we walked back to the car, the whining had reached a fevered pitch, and I was on the verge of pulling out my hair. When we got into the car, after the fifth request for waaaaaaateeeerrrrrrr because we are dyyyyyyyyyinnnnggggg….I told the kids that if they were going to complain about the heat, they were going to have to do it creatively. I told them that the most creative way to describe the weather would win a drink from Sonic.(highly coveted in our house, as Sonic ice is made of unicorn wings and joy). The following are the most creative entries, and I told the kids that my readers would get to choose the winner.

“I feel like my hair is made out of sparklers”

“It’s so hot that the desert is crying because they are so hot even though they are the desert”

“It’s really really hot and I don’t like it at all. For real, yo”

I think if I tried to eat ice right now it would run away and scream because my mouth is too hot”

“My feet feel like they are made out of sparklers. Wait. no. My feet feel like they are made of roller skates but they are shooting fire.”

“It’s so hot that Taylor Swift isn’t going to be modest anymore. That’s sad.”

“It feels like there’s no more hope in the world because it got burned up.”

“If I went swimming right now it would feel like jello but before you put it in the fridge”

“I think if mommy tried to turn the oven on for dinner, it would scream NO at her”

“My eyes feel like they have melted in my head and now I have brain eye soup”

“It feels like God might be just a little bit mad at us.”

“If I was a tomato plant, I would be making spaghetti sauce right now”

“If it rained right now, I would cry in disbelief”

“It feels like I’m best friends with the dragon in Harry Potter and I don’t want to hang around him because he’s too hot but I have to because he’s my best friend. And sometimes he takes me to Sonic.”

“It’s hot enough to write a rap song about how hot it is but it’s too hot to perform it.”

“I just want to sleep at Braum’s house”

“I feel like I want to shave the dog”

“I think Santa is smart.”

“I wish I was a boy. Wait, no I don’t want to be a boy. But they don’t have to wear shirts. I wish I would be a girl and not wear a shirt and no one would look. Yeah.”

“My heart feels broken. Like someone tried to make a s’more on it”

“Maybe there is a giant with a really big glass and he’s burning us”

“Would God flood the earth again if we said please?”

“I want to go to New York. I know it’s hot there but they have really tall buildings and we could climb to the top and pull the string thingy to turn the sun off”

“It’s too hot to play this game anymore”

All in all, I’d say they were pretty creative! Mamas, this worked for the afternoon and I’ve used it since then- if they want to complain, they have to describe it creatively and I’ve been making them write them down- usually they giggle so much that they forget to be grouchy, AND we are getting some good writing skills in!

So what’s your vote? Winner gets a drink of their choice: )

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10 responses »

  1. I am torn between “I feel like my hair is made out of sparklers” and “If I was a tomato plant, I would be making spaghetti sauce right now”. So funny I laughed out loud!! Thanks for sharing!



  2. I agree, the sparkler hair and tomato plant ones are my favorite. They all made me laugh. Thank you for your creative spin on the heat!


  3. The image of ice cream running screaming from a blazing mouth wins for me! Great list.


  4. I have to vote for Harry Potter and the dragon. With the loss of Taylor Swift’s modesty a close second. But they are all good.


  5. Braum’s house cause there is nothing like walking in there on a 100 degree day! Miss braum’s in Carolina!


  6. If I can vote for two it’s “brain eye soup” and spaghetti! Great idea Brandy!


  7. My personal favs lean toward the flair for the dramatic. My votes go to the burned up hope and s’mores broken heart. Very funny!


  8. My favs go to the ones with the flair for the dramatic. My votes are with the burned up hope and the s’mores broken heart. Hilarious!!


  9. Taylor Swift’s fleeing modesty and tomato to spaghetti sauce!! So hilarious!!


  10. These are the cutest! I vote for this one: “It’s hot enough to write a rap song about how hot it is but it’s too hot to perform it.” xD



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